Day one of the “4 lists” diet

The day started with me and my wife getting up and deciding that a smoothie sounded great. We pulled the blender out of the cupboard, blew all of the dust and cobwebs off and got to it. My wife Angela put 2 cups of fresh strawberries, 1 whole Mango (peeling that thing was a bitch) a whole banana, 1 cup of “Banilla” yogurt and 1 cup of 2% organic milk in the jug. We placed it on the blender assembly, plugged it in and pressed “smoothie”. The next thing we heard was “buuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz” but no action. We pulled it off, reattached it. Try number 2 was no better. I told my wife “gimme that, you’re not putting it on right!”. “Buuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzz” accompanied by an acrid burning smell. Uh-oh. Angela tried to mash up the food with a spoon in case it was binding. Back on it went. Click. Nothing. Double uh-oh. Let’s try the food processor attachment! Great idea! Nope. I killed the damn blender. It turns out that the assembly on the bottom of the jar had seized. Thanks to my impatience, I burnt out the damn motor. Whee. Great start.

I love my wife. She’s been very supportive thus far. She’s so supportive she decided to pour the slurry into a mixing bowl and go Norman Bates on it with a potato masher. We both laughed our asses off, chugged down the slightly less lumpy and stringy slurry and added a blender to our growing to do list.

Buying healthier food is very expensive. We decided to go to Zerbo’s over in Livonia for some nuts and healthier options and I wound up spending $47.00 on food products for snacks and smoothies. That’s a half a pound of curry cashews, half a pound of Cajun spice pumpkin seeds, ¼ of a pound of sesame sticks for my future salad eating endeavors as well as a bottle of fruit/veggie combo juice, rye and pumpkin seed crackers and some almond milk with soy. We then trudged around to Bed Bath and Beyond, Kohls and JC Penny for a blender. Nothing made sense so we tabled it for later and went to Target and Meijer, spending a total of $108.00 on healthy food choices that may only last about 2 weeks! We purchased no soda, no chips, no sweets and no processed foods. Sheesh.

The good news is that I learned two things about myself. The first is that I can handle 2 scrambled eggs, 2 slices of dry rye toast, a cup of chicken noodle soup and a glass of water for lunch. Even with a pack of carnivores over my wife’s left shoulder shoveling in chili cheese fries drowning in ketchup and 44 Coney dogs lying in wait. The second thing is that I need to walk more. We walked for about 2.5 hours yesterday and my dogs were barking. My back was sore and I had a pronounced lean. I even forgot to suck in my stomach while in public.

We carted the entire carload of stuff home, I had a green tea Snapple (not bad, a bit too sweet though) and a pumpkin spice Kashi bar (what’s with all of the pumpkin stuff I’m buying? Am I fixated on fall or what…). I then took a union break with my wife and watched “Good Eats” on the DVR so that I could relax before washing dishes. Apparently, I fell asleep about 4 times and was snoring merrily away quite often. I guess that’s why Angela kept clearing her throat…

Angela made a nice dinner with a Pepperidge farm deli flat whole wheat roll, 2 slices of turkey, 1 slice of 2 % cheese, 5 decent sized carrot sticks (like chewing on a dog toy but not bad with garlic hummus) and a kick ass parfait with strawberries, Banilla yogurt (again) and Hemp/Flax seed granola. All in all a good day of dieting. I consumed 1,668 calories while exercising 401 calories away. I came in way under. That's all for now; break's over!

Tomorrow: What is the “4 lists” Diet/life change? And Mexican for Dinner!